Overtime with Baxter Burbank

Baxter Burbank, ’10, is the average athlete I talk to in Overtime. Burbank is a figure skater. A management major and native of Fairbanks, Ak., Baxter recently competed in the U.S. Figure Skating Championship in Spokane, W.A., where he placed 10th in his first ever appearance. In this edition of Overtime, I talk to Baxter about beer, Ron Burgundy, and the legendary “Iron Lotus.”

TH: Now, everyone knows that your goal for the future is to make the 2014 Winter Olympics, but what would you say has been your greatest achievement so far in your career?

BB: My greatest achievement, I guess, would be making it back to the U.S. Nationals. Two years ago, I qualified with a partner, but we had to withdraw five days before the competition due to some injuries and it was kind of a long road to get back there. So just this past week was my first time skating at U.S. Nationals, which has been a long time coming. And while it wasn’t a huge milestone or difficult to get to, it was a long time coming and was a really great experience for me.

TH: Who would you rather have as a celebrity coach: Kurt Russell or Craig T. Nelson and why?

BB: Probably Kurt Russell because he’s the guy in “Deathproof.” He’s a little crazy, knows how to have a good time, looks like a bad dude. Plus he’s got a hot daughter.

TH: Have you ever thought of trying the fabled Iron Lotus during a competition?

BB: No, not in competition. But we do sit around the coffee table and talk about that.

TH: I don’t know if you’re related to Ron Burgundy’s famous dog in the movie “Anchorman” but has anyone ever punted you off a bridge in a fit of anger?

BB: I have yet to be punted off a bridge. Funny story about that, actually, I was in 11th grade when the movie came out, and out of high school I went to the University of San Diego, where “Anchorman” takes place, so I got a lot of flack and a lot of jokes. Still to this day I get junk phone calls from people reciting lines from that movie.

TH: So I’m guessing you’ve been asked to bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee?

BB: (laughing) Yes.

TH: Have you ever barked twice while in Milwaukee?

BB: I often do, and I especially love eating the whole wheel of cheese.

TH: Being a native of Alaska, I have a few questions for you: first of all, is Russia visible from your house?

BB: (laughing) No, not actually.

TH: Second, being from Fairbanks, home of the University of Alaska Nanooks, have you ever seen a polar bear destroy the universe prior to a hockey game? (For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, YouTube “UAF Hockey Opening.”)

BB: The only time I’ve seen a polar bear destroy the universe is on the jumbo-tron in the [Carlson Center]

TH: Third, being that there is such rough terrain in Alaska, have you ever trained like Rocky Balboa in “Rocky IV”, high-stepping through snow and chopping logs to build on your physique?

BB: You could say that we train in the harsh terrain and skate every Saturday and Sunday in the minus-10 degree weather and chop the wood to get the house warm.

TH: I also heard that you’re interested in brewing. If you had your own beer, I need a name and animal/symbol for your beer.

BB: There’s actually something we have in the works already. We’ll see if it comes to fruition or not, but we like to have fun with it. For a catchy name, we’ve been thinking up “Dirty Bird Brewery” because it’s a fun thing to say and leaves a lot to the imagination. As far as the logo, I think of some bird rising up from the mud or something. I don’t know, we haven’t gone too much into the graphic designs yet.

TH: Have you ever counted the sequins on one of your costumes? And as a side question, how much money do you think the BeDazzler has made thanks to the skating industry?

BB: The answer to the first question is that I try to keep the crystals on my costume to under 200. It sounds like a lot, but that doesn’t go that far. Some of the girls dresses have over 1,000. As far as the second question, it’s drastic. Swarovski is going crazy thanks to figure skating; they make so much money off of it.

TH: Have you ever used your sharp skating blades for everyday tasks—maybe cutting your food or getting a quick shave?

BB: Uh, yeah. We actually try to find ways to multitask so often while we’re on our way to the rink in the morning. We don’t want to tick our partners off, we have the rest of the day to do that, so I can just grab my skates from my trunk and shave while I’m hopping down I-95.