2008 Woodie Awards
Getting to know...The Squawk Editorial Staff
Gaggle of writers screak on razor giraffes, Spaghetti O's, and distrusting Robot Hillary Clinton
Daniel Wisniewski '08
Issue date: 4/2/08 Section: Features
At the risk of being labeled incestuous, I took the once-a-year opportunity to interview the editorial staff of this year's Squawk (and a couple office stragglers). We aimlessly mused about literally nothing, as most it was censored out to avoid controversy.
(DW): By the time this interview comes out, The Squawk will have hit stands around the globe. The possibility of another Squawk controversy is heavy on everyone's minds. I think the question that needs to be answered is: Spaghetti O's with or without meatballs?
Lauren Davis: With.
Keith O'Brien: With.
Kathleen Radebaugh: Marinara sauce.
Justin Lohr: I'd die before I ate them.
(DW): Really?
Justin: I hate Spaghetti O's.
(DW): Wait, do you like tomato soup?
Justin: Tomato soup's okay.
Brian Maloney: Dude, they're really good for you.
(DW): Well, then what do you not like about Spaghetti O's? It's essentially just tomato soup.
Justin: I guess that's true.
(DW): So this year's Squawk comes out on April 1st. How does that make you feel?
Lauren: Great!
Brian: Timely?
(DW): If you don't get a diploma because of The Squawk, what will you frame?
Christina Moran: I already got a diploma.
(DW): Shut up, Christina.
Kathleen: The Squawk.
Jason Baker: I'll put that Equus ad in there.
(DW): With naked Harry Potter? That's cool. What will you tell your parents?
Lauren: Well Mom, now you don't have to sit with Dad at graduation.
(DW): Wow. If there's a controversy happening right now when this interview is released, what would you like to say to the public?
Justin: I'm not sorry.
Lauren: I did it all for Michael Hagan. I was just striving for preeminence.
(DW): What do you think the appropriate number of "sorry's" is for last year's Squawk content, even though none of you had anything to do with it?
Lauren: 25 billion.
Keith: I think there's more apologies for The Hawk's content.
(DW): Who would you rather fight, a giraffe with a razor tongue or a giraffe with razor legs?
Christina: Legs.
Lauren: The razor tongue because I'm short.
Brian: Razor legs, because it has an eight-foot tall neck. It could get you from somewhere far away.
Kathleen: Yeah, and that's four razors versus one razor.
(DW): Who would rather fight, Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama?
Lauren: Barack.
Brian: Barack. I'm scared out of my mind of Hillary.
Lauren: Clinton's a robot. I don't trust her.
Keith: I don't want the tag team of Bill and Hillary.
(DW): What sort of martial arts style would you use against them?
Brian: Drunken boxing.
Keith: Running.
Lauren: Mo Catalano.
(DW): What is it like to work with me?
Justin: I wouldn't know.
Christina: No comment.
(DW): By the time this interview comes out, The Squawk will have hit stands around the globe. The possibility of another Squawk controversy is heavy on everyone's minds. I think the question that needs to be answered is: Spaghetti O's with or without meatballs?
Lauren Davis: With.
Keith O'Brien: With.
Kathleen Radebaugh: Marinara sauce.
Justin Lohr: I'd die before I ate them.
(DW): Really?
Justin: I hate Spaghetti O's.
(DW): Wait, do you like tomato soup?
Justin: Tomato soup's okay.
Brian Maloney: Dude, they're really good for you.
(DW): Well, then what do you not like about Spaghetti O's? It's essentially just tomato soup.
Justin: I guess that's true.
(DW): So this year's Squawk comes out on April 1st. How does that make you feel?
Lauren: Great!
Brian: Timely?
(DW): If you don't get a diploma because of The Squawk, what will you frame?
Christina Moran: I already got a diploma.
(DW): Shut up, Christina.
Kathleen: The Squawk.
Jason Baker: I'll put that Equus ad in there.
(DW): With naked Harry Potter? That's cool. What will you tell your parents?
Lauren: Well Mom, now you don't have to sit with Dad at graduation.
(DW): Wow. If there's a controversy happening right now when this interview is released, what would you like to say to the public?
Justin: I'm not sorry.
Lauren: I did it all for Michael Hagan. I was just striving for preeminence.
(DW): What do you think the appropriate number of "sorry's" is for last year's Squawk content, even though none of you had anything to do with it?
Lauren: 25 billion.
Keith: I think there's more apologies for The Hawk's content.
(DW): Who would you rather fight, a giraffe with a razor tongue or a giraffe with razor legs?
Christina: Legs.
Lauren: The razor tongue because I'm short.
Brian: Razor legs, because it has an eight-foot tall neck. It could get you from somewhere far away.
Kathleen: Yeah, and that's four razors versus one razor.
(DW): Who would rather fight, Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama?
Lauren: Barack.
Brian: Barack. I'm scared out of my mind of Hillary.
Lauren: Clinton's a robot. I don't trust her.
Keith: I don't want the tag team of Bill and Hillary.
(DW): What sort of martial arts style would you use against them?
Brian: Drunken boxing.
Keith: Running.
Lauren: Mo Catalano.
(DW): What is it like to work with me?
Justin: I wouldn't know.
Christina: No comment.
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