2008 Woodie Awards
Getting to know...Nancy Komada, Ph.D.
Senior Community Standards Officer talks about Cheese Nips vs. Cheese Its, Matlock, Secret Service
Daniel Wisniewski '08
Issue date: 3/19/08 Section: Features
This week I sat down with Nancy Komada, Ph.D., the Senior Community Standards Officer and Assistant to the Vice President of Student Life. We chatted about Bigfoot, the Autobahn, and the dumbest excuses heard from students in Peer Review Board hearings.
(DW)When you cry, do you cry justice?
(NK)Yes.
Do you laugh virtue?
(NK)Yes.
When you wash your hands, do you feel as if you're washing the metaphorical judicial blood from them?
(NK)Yes.
Would you ever consider a celebrity head of the Peer Review Board for a semester, like Matlock?
(NK)Sure.
What if he would only do it if every time he entered a hearing, you would have to play the Matlock theme song?
(NK)No, it would have to be the Saint Joseph's fight song.
Could we do a mash-up of both?
(NK)Sure, yeah. A rap would be good.
If you could create an entirely new Review Board, what would you choose? For example, the Pizza Review Board.
(NK)Uh…
The Beer Review Board.
(NK)Would that be based on quantity or quality?
Both. You would get a whole board of people to review pizzas or beers or exotic vacations. The Christmas Review Board.
(NK)We would want people with experience, and especially people over 21, for the Beer Review Board.
Right. If you were going to be written up, what would it be for?
(NK)For having too much of a good time.
That's acceptable. If you told me the craziest case you ever had, would that break confidentiality and you then would have to kill me?
(NK)No, but I wish I was keeping notes on all the craziest cases so I could write a book.
If you had to kill me, how would you kill me? Judicially? Could you kill me with the strong arm of the law?
(NK)I would have to kill you with fairness.
Great. Okay, how about we do an either/or. Neon lights or lightbulbs?
(NK)Neon lights.
The Schuylkill Expressway of the Autobahn?
(NK)The Autobahn.
(DW)When you cry, do you cry justice?
(NK)Yes.
Do you laugh virtue?
(NK)Yes.
When you wash your hands, do you feel as if you're washing the metaphorical judicial blood from them?
(NK)Yes.
Would you ever consider a celebrity head of the Peer Review Board for a semester, like Matlock?
(NK)Sure.
What if he would only do it if every time he entered a hearing, you would have to play the Matlock theme song?
(NK)No, it would have to be the Saint Joseph's fight song.
Could we do a mash-up of both?
(NK)Sure, yeah. A rap would be good.
If you could create an entirely new Review Board, what would you choose? For example, the Pizza Review Board.
(NK)Uh…
The Beer Review Board.
(NK)Would that be based on quantity or quality?
Both. You would get a whole board of people to review pizzas or beers or exotic vacations. The Christmas Review Board.
(NK)We would want people with experience, and especially people over 21, for the Beer Review Board.
Right. If you were going to be written up, what would it be for?
(NK)For having too much of a good time.
That's acceptable. If you told me the craziest case you ever had, would that break confidentiality and you then would have to kill me?
(NK)No, but I wish I was keeping notes on all the craziest cases so I could write a book.
If you had to kill me, how would you kill me? Judicially? Could you kill me with the strong arm of the law?
(NK)I would have to kill you with fairness.
Great. Okay, how about we do an either/or. Neon lights or lightbulbs?
(NK)Neon lights.
The Schuylkill Expressway of the Autobahn?
(NK)The Autobahn.
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