The Hawk

Issue date: 10/24/07 Section: Features

When I was looking at colleges my freshman year, my dad recommended that I look at the bathrooms because you could literally "read the writing on the wall" and learn a lot about a university. Since I made my decision to come to St. Joe's, I have made it my prerogative to find the bathrooms that exemplify my experience here on Hawk Hill. Looking back, had I seen the bathrooms in the Hawk Rock, I would more than likely be at a different institution. So without further ado (no pun intended), I feel it is my duty (pun intended) to present the Best Bathrooms of Saint Joseph's University. Lafarge First Floor- This is the best place to have your parents go to the bathroom when they visit on the weekends (especially when the cleaning ladies don't clean the bathroom on your floor). Borgia & Rashford First Floor- These are nice and spacious unisex bathrooms that have handicap stalls. Feel free to stretch your legs; these establishments are huge, big enough that if you were on your cell phone, it would probably echo. Mandeville-This difference is the most notable between the Haub School of Business and the School of Arts and Sciences: business professionals know how to go to the bathroom in style. Sorry, Bellarmine, but we all know your bathrooms are terrible. Check out any handicap stall in Mandeville. These stalls have private sinks, mirrors, and paper towels, as well as ledges to place book bags. The only downside is the unfortunate angle of the mirror (you'll understand when you're in there). In particular, check out the bathrooms near the elevators because they generally get less use, which means they will be cleaner. Barbelin- Near Room 221- As you may or may not know, Barbelin was the first building constructed on Saint Joseph's current campus, which explains the nice private lounge connected to the bathrooms. Feel free to sit on the couch and talk on your cell phone instead of doing it in the bathroom. Also, this bathroom offers great views of the courtyard below. Claver House-The kids in the honors program know what they're doing. The Claver House offers a clean full-sized handicapped shower that actually works. The downside? You need to keep a 3.75 GPA in order to use it. Campion second floor & third floor-After eating the Aramark, go to the second or third floor of Campion to use el cuarto de baño. Perhaps the least known bathroom on all of campus is the men's room hidden behind the Forum Theater. This offers seven urinals in a row as well as eight sinks, all of which appear to go unused all day. If these bathrooms do get overcrowded because of this article, be sure to check out the handicap stall near Room 212, as well as the handicap stall on the third floor. Post Hall-The bathrooms themselves are not that spectacular; however, I do have to mention a little something called "The XLerator." This amazing gadget is the most powerful hand dryer I have ever encountered. Even if you don't have class in Post, I recommend simply going to the bathroom to dry your hands. The force of air out of this machine literally sends ripples through my palms. Amazing experience. McShain fifth floor-This bathroom is so nice it should be called a water closet. If there is ever a lecture on the fifth floor, be sure to attend, just for the opportunity to use this incredible lavatory.

The lights are motion-sensing and automatically turn on when you open the door (much like the library), so a word of advice-don't take too long or the lights may turn off on you. The urinal is….wait for it…waterless. I'm not quite sure how it works, but it is environmentally friendly which makes the experience much more rewarding for me and, in turn, all of God's creatures. Please see: http://www.waterless.com/how.php for more information.

I think it goes without saying that my knowledge is strictly limited to the men's bathrooms, but I would be willing to bet that the adjacent women's bathrooms will offer an equally memorable experience.

To those nincompoops that are pissed because I gave up my knowledge to the underclassmen, I'm sorry, but they need to know and they were going to find out sooner or later. Some may read this and think it's a load of crap or a bit too corny, but for everyone else, enjoy your new toilets.

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools