2008 Woodie Awards
Melody Explains It All: It's not them; It's you
Melody Regino '08
Issue date: 1/31/07 Section: Features
- Page 1 of 1
Close your eyes and picture the hardest person to date. Sometimes I wonder who really has the most difficult boyfriend and girlfriend, or, even better, what makes the significant other deal with them?
There are so many dating horror stories of those crazy control freaks, cheating shade balls, or jealous psychos. I guess my real question is: what do these people think of themselves? There is more than one side to every story, and you cannot ignore the fact that all of those nuts have their own defense.
You never really know who's absolutely out of their minds until they turn their wrath on you. But maybe we all have those little crazy sides that we are unaware of.
This week's challenge: try dating yourself. I think that most of you will realize how hard you yourself are to date, or maybe you will discover what in fact many people are missing out on.
If you took the time to imagine actually dating yourself, you might learn a lot about how others perceive you. Instead of focusing on what your own type is, you can see what type of someone else's you fit into.
We focus on finding the perfect person for ourselves, who fits the guidelines we have for others, never considering the guidelines others have for us.
You might think you need a certain quality in someone, but have you ever thought about what kind of person needs you? For instance, an extreme extrovert might think they need an opposite introvert, but if you take into account the needs of that timid prospect you will soon realize you might be overbearing or too assertive.
Now you might consider a person who appreciates that gregarious persona of yours- you have found your match. You want someone who appreciates your qualities and finding them becomes easier when you know who is looking for you.
The tricky part is when you start to picture dating yourself and want a quick and violent break up. Sometimes you don't realize how crazy you truly are or what difficulties you bring to certain relationships with specific people.
Once you learn your own role in relationship-this applies to perfectly platonic ones as well-you might see the negativity you contribute.
We spend so much time blaming others for their insecurities, behaviors, and flaws in a relationship- that we forget that we also bring some issues to the table.
If you can adjust the things you personally add, you are one step closer to a more successful relationship with others or a better understanding of what you need from other and what others need from you.
We are so blinded by our own faults that we make it impossible for others to love us, I think this is something we should all work on. It takes two to tango, but only one bad dancer to make your pair look pretty friggin' stupid.
There are so many dating horror stories of those crazy control freaks, cheating shade balls, or jealous psychos. I guess my real question is: what do these people think of themselves? There is more than one side to every story, and you cannot ignore the fact that all of those nuts have their own defense.
You never really know who's absolutely out of their minds until they turn their wrath on you. But maybe we all have those little crazy sides that we are unaware of.
This week's challenge: try dating yourself. I think that most of you will realize how hard you yourself are to date, or maybe you will discover what in fact many people are missing out on.
If you took the time to imagine actually dating yourself, you might learn a lot about how others perceive you. Instead of focusing on what your own type is, you can see what type of someone else's you fit into.
We focus on finding the perfect person for ourselves, who fits the guidelines we have for others, never considering the guidelines others have for us.
You might think you need a certain quality in someone, but have you ever thought about what kind of person needs you? For instance, an extreme extrovert might think they need an opposite introvert, but if you take into account the needs of that timid prospect you will soon realize you might be overbearing or too assertive.
Now you might consider a person who appreciates that gregarious persona of yours- you have found your match. You want someone who appreciates your qualities and finding them becomes easier when you know who is looking for you.
The tricky part is when you start to picture dating yourself and want a quick and violent break up. Sometimes you don't realize how crazy you truly are or what difficulties you bring to certain relationships with specific people.
Once you learn your own role in relationship-this applies to perfectly platonic ones as well-you might see the negativity you contribute.
We spend so much time blaming others for their insecurities, behaviors, and flaws in a relationship- that we forget that we also bring some issues to the table.
If you can adjust the things you personally add, you are one step closer to a more successful relationship with others or a better understanding of what you need from other and what others need from you.
We are so blinded by our own faults that we make it impossible for others to love us, I think this is something we should all work on. It takes two to tango, but only one bad dancer to make your pair look pretty friggin' stupid.
Be the first to comment on this story