College Cookbook | “Why’s the rum always gone?” apple crisp

Fat Tuesday came and went and now we’re in the Catholic season of Lent.

Though I’ve never been to a Mardi Gras parade, I’ve seen something similar in my hometown. Come late January in a little old place called Tampa Bay, a grand celebration resembling the famous New Orleans’ Mardi Gras completely consumes the city. Named after the 18th century Spanish pirate, Jose Gaspar, “The Last Buccaneer,” initiates festivals of feasting, parades, bead tossing, and festivities with actual pirate ship replicas invading the bay.

Therefore, missing out on the Gasparilla tradition this year prompted me to pull out the rum and figure out—in a rather apple-fetish Barbossa meets Jack Sparrow-like manner—something to do with the cup and a quarter of Captain Morgan spiced rum that’s been lingering in my fridge for a month or two. Thus, we have a slow-cooked concoction that’ll warm any scurvy cur’s chilled bones: “Why’s the rum always gone?” apple crisp.

Serves 6-8

What you need:
9 medium sized granny smith apples, unpeeled
1 cup golden raisins
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
1 tbsp ground cinnamon
1 tbsp ground ginger
1 tbsp grated lemon peel
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/4 tsp salt
2 cups brown sugar
11/4 cups spiced rum
6 packets instant maple and brown sugar or cinnamon spice instant oatmeal
6 tbsp butter

What you do:
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F and set out the butter to soften.
2. Core the apples and cut them into quarter-inch wide slices. Place the apples into a large bowl then add the raisins and walnuts.
3. Over the apple mix, drop in the cinnamon, ginger, lemon peel, cornstarch, salt, and brown sugar.
4. Pour the rum over the apples and spices. Begin tossing the apples and the liquid mix together, dissolving all the sugar and cornstarch in the rum. Keep tossing until the apples are evenly coated.
5. Place apple mix in a large casserole dish, first transferring just the apples with the raisins and walnuts, then pouring the liquid evenly over the mix. Set aside.
6. In a new bowl, dump the contents of the oatmeal packets.
7. Slice up the butter into 6 tablespoon-sized pieces and plop them into the oatmeal bowl.
8. Using your hands, begin mixing and mushing the butter into the oatmeal so that by the end, the butter is uniformly mixed into (not just coated by) the oatmeal. The butter shouldn’t be seen or felt.
9. Top the apple mix with the oatmeal mix in an even layer.
10. Place the casserole dish in the center of the oven. Beneath the dish, place a cookie sheet covered by tinfoil—the dish may bubble and drip over the sides a bit and you don’t want it burning onto the bottom of your oven.
11. Bake at 350°F for 45 minutes to an hour, or until apples are soft and liquid has thickened, encasing them in this seriously hot, caramelly rum goodness. Check to make sure it does this.

Think of this as rum-raisin meets caramel apple meets that delicious crunchy part on any kind of cobbler. Though this dish is best served warm (and with a side of vanilla or even rum raisin ice cream), you definitely need to wait before digging in with a spoon.

The sugars in the sauce or rather, syrup hold on to and carry over heat from the oven which means they’ll stay piping hot even after the dish cools. Take no heed to this warning and it’s the same old story as too-hot hot cocoa or fresh from the oven pizza: burnt tongue, watery eyes, and no working taste buds for the next week!

By the time you get those little taste testers back in action you won’t be asking why the rum is always gone, but rather “Why’s the rum always gone?” apple crisp always gone?