Out on Campus | Laren Robinson

Laren Robinson, '11, is many things. She is an athlete, a student, and a believer in God. She's also gay.

Wearing sneakers, a fitted hat, and jeans, Robinson appears relaxed and comfortable in her own skin. There's confidence in her pose. But it's a confidence she's worked hard to gain.

Robinson's experiences at St. Joe's have been, according to her, "not entirely positive, but not entirely negative." The challenges of being gay and also being a member of a religious community have been difficult.

"I am Christian-Catholic," Robinson said. "I was born and raised in a strict Christian, Baptist household. Half of my family is also Catholic, so it was really difficult for me growing up. There wasn't really any stability; I didn't really have a place. I couldn't be Christian because I was gay. I couldn't be Catholic because I was gay. And my family wasn't approving."

These identity-related tensions have remained for Robinson during her time at St. Joe's.

"It has been hard because I'm very religious and very spiritual, but it's been difficult to be that homosexual who loves God at the same time. I go to Mass, and I do get the looks...because I come in with the polo and jeans," Robinson said, laughing.

"It's hard to go to Mass and sit there sometimes and listen to people talk about the founding principles of Catholicism and talk about homosexuality," Robinson admits. "But also talk about diversity and trying to be inclusive. At the same time [they] continue to use the Bible and say that you're still sinning. For me it's been more of a personal thing in terms of accepting how I feel about God, and realizing that God loves everybody if He made everyone."

Theology and moral philosophy courses that Robinson attended at Saint Joseph's have also fostered her sense of separation from the campus community. One Moral Philosophy class proved to be especially difficult when students were asked to write anonymous papers discussing moral issues that arise in the Catholic Church.

One of the anonymous papers expressed hatred towards gay people.

"It was all pretty much based around religion." Robinson explained. "It was like, 'You're all going to hell. God does not accept homosexual...and neither should the Church.' It was just like, 'God does not love gays, God does not accept gays. Why should gays be accepted in the Church? I think gay marriage is the antichrist, the devil.'"

"It was actually a really scary moment for me," she said. "Knowing that someone hated me that much and I didn't even know who he was. The fact that he was either behind me, in front of me, next to me, and be associating with that person all the time and then having just this utter hate and they didn't even know me-it was scary."

Despite these experiences, Robinson says that the biggest challenge for gay people at St. Joe's is to combat stereotypes about homosexuality.

"The stereotypes that come with being gay are actually the biggest things, I think, that we have to deal with. I think that's the hardest struggle, because you have to now try to live in a way that isn't really stereotypical. But it's not that you're doing it intentionally, it's just that that's really how you live your life."

The stereotype that all lesbians dress like guys?

"I dress this way because I want to be comfortable-it's not really because I'm gay. I was a tomboy growing up; this is how I wear my stuff. I love my dad, and I used to wear my dad's clothes. So this is what I wear."

The stereotype that being gay is all about sex?

"It's so much more than that," Robinson said. "It's the way you live your life. It's really hard to define it because we are just ourselves. We don't really go through, 'Oh, I meet this and this requirement, therefore I'm gay.' It doesn't happen like that. It involves emotions; it involves how you feel. In fact, I really don't think it's about the physical at all."

What about the stereotype about female athletes, particularly on the women's basketball team?

"It's a bunch of bullshit, that's what it is. I mean, for lack of a better term. There are really not that many gay people on basketball teams," Robinson said. "I'd like to say that it's because of the stereotypes we have about what's masculine, what's feminine. There are girls who are really big and really strong. That's just part of the life that we live. When you play on a basketball team it's because you're good at that sport. How sexuality comes into play, I don't even know."

Robinson hopes to one day see a campus where these stereotypes won't prevent people from viewing others as they really are.

"I feel like when people are educated about what it's really about, and understand that there isn't really as much weight as people give it, that you will break those layers and actually see a human being instead of a gay person, or a homosexual," she said. "I really feel like that's what it comes down to-being able to see the person. Because there are so many labels, so many stereotypes around that person that you can't even get a clear picture."

It might not be the most comfortable method, but Robinson advocates broadening personal horizons and breaking patterns of ignorance.

"I feel like now is the time to be exposed to [things you don't know about]," Robinson said. "It's going to be anywhere; let it be at an institution that really needs to have an awakening as well."